Asking someone out for the first time can be nerve-wracking, especially when you’re in middle school. You want it to go well, but you also don’t want to mess up and make things awkward. Luckily, asking a girl out in middle school isn’t as scary as it seems if you follow some simple tips.
If you’re short on time, here’s a quick answer to your question: build up your confidence, get to know her as a friend first, choose the right time and place, and ask her out politely and directly like “Would you want to go see a movie with me?”.
Don’t make it into a big production, just be yourself and see if she’s interested too.
In this comprehensive guide, we’ll cover everything you need to know to ask a girl out successfully in middle school, from building up your confidence, befriending her first, choosing the right timing, what to say, handling rejection gracefully, and more.
Build Up Your Confidence Beforehand
Focus on your positive qualities
Before asking a girl out, it’s important to build up your self-confidence. Remind yourself of your positive qualities – are you funny? Smart? A great listener? Focus on the things you like about yourself. This will help you feel more self-assured when it comes time to ask her out.
Confidence is an attractive quality!
Practice what you want to say
It can be nerve-wracking trying to find the right words to ask someone out. Practice asking the question beforehand, either alone or with a friend. That way, you’ll feel more prepared when the moment arrives. Having a general script in mind can make the experience less intimidating.
Visualize it going well
Picture how great you’ll feel when she says yes! Envisioning a positive outcome can boost your confidence. Remind yourself that even if she says no, it’s not the end of the world. Rejection happens to everyone at some point. Staying positive and hopeful can help calm any pre-date jitters.
Remember that getting rejected isn’t the end of the world
Rejection is a normal part of dating. If she says no, don’t take it personally. There are many possible reasons, like she might be focusing on friends or school activities right now. Her decision doesn’t define your worth. Brush it off and move forward knowing you put yourself out there bravely.
With self-confidence and resilience, you’ll bounce back in no time. The right person is worth being patient for.
Get to Know Her as a Friend First
Introduce yourself if you haven’t met
If you don’t know the girl yet, the first step is to introduce yourself. When you see her in the hallway or in class, go up to her confidently and say “Hi, I’m Bob. What’s your name?” Make eye contact and smile to seem friendly. Shaking hands can be a nice formal touch.
Then make some polite small talk by asking how she likes the class or how her day is going so far.
Make small talk when you see her
Once you’ve been introduced, chat with her briefly when you see her around school. Say hi and ask how she’s doing. Compliment her new hairstyle or a cool band tee she’s wearing. Comment on an assignment or test coming up in a class you share.
Making small talk helps you get comfortable talking together.
Sit with her at lunch or in class
Take things to the next level by asking to sit with her in the cafeteria or class. Say “Do you mind if I sit here?” before taking a seat. During lunch, you can get to know each other by talking about favorite foods, classes, hobbies, music, TV shows, or whatever pops up.
Sitting together in class lets you make jokes about the teacher or compare answers on a worksheet.
Find common interests and bond over them
Pay attention to see if you share any common interests, like sports, video games, art, or a favorite TV show. Bring up the things you both like and talk more about them to establish a connection. You could say, “I heard you’re really into skateboarding, that’s awesome! I’ve been wanting to try it.
What’s the best place around here to start?” If she mentions something you’ve never tried, see if she’ll teach you.
Compliment her in a sincere, non-creepy way
Girls appreciate genuine compliments. Notice unique things about her like a talent or skill and say something like, “You’re an amazing singer! I loved hearing you solo in choir class today.” Or compliment her character by saying, “I really admire how kind you are to everyone here.”
Be sincere without comments on her physical appearance to avoid seeming creepy.
Choose the Right Time and Place
Somewhere private enough to talk
When asking a girl out in middle school, it’s important to choose a location where you can have a personal conversation without being interrupted or overheard. Find a quiet spot in the hallway, courtyard, or library where you can talk privately for a few minutes.
Having privacy reduces awkwardness and shows you respect her feelings.
When she’s free and in a good mood
Timing is everything! Catch her at a time when she’s not rushing to class or in the middle of an intense studying session. Try to catch her when she’s relaxed, like during lunch break or after school. Starting the conversation when she’s already smiling or laughing will make it easier.
Also avoid asking right before a big exam or deadline that has her stressed.
Not right before a test or other deadline
In addition to avoiding interruptions, steer clear of high-pressure times. Asking right before a big test she’s been worrying about or when an important assignment is due could overwhelm her. She’ll appreciate you recognizing her academic responsibilities and choosing a time she can fully focus on your conversation.
Maybe right after talking about something you both enjoy
If you’ve been chatting casually about a TV show you both love or a cool project in art class, seize that moment to segue into asking her out. A fun, lighthearted conversation puts you both at ease. And discussing mutual interests reminds you of your shared chemistry!
Ask Her Out Politely and Directly
Say something simple like “Would you want to go to the movies with me?”
When asking a girl out in middle school, it’s best to keep things simple and direct. Say something like “Would you want to go to the movies with me?” or “I was wondering if you’d like to go to the school dance together?” This takes the pressure off both of you.
Don’t build up the ask into some big production, just casually suggest spending time together one-on-one. Keep it low key like you would with a friend.
Speak clearly and make eye contact
When you ask her out, speak clearly and confidently so she can understand you. Make eye contact too – this shows her you’re serious and really interested! You got this! Just be cool. Look at her in the eyes for a few seconds as you ask so she knows you’re focused on connecting with her.
Be casual, not too intense
Ask in a casual way, not too intensely. You don’t want to scare her off. Keep it light like you’re just suggesting hanging out. Say something like “Hey, I was thinking it would be fun if we went to get ice cream together one day. What do you think?”
rather than something overly dramatic like “I’ve been in love with you for so long, will you finally go out with me?” Keep it chill.
If she says no, don’t take it personally
If she says she’s not interested, don’t sweat it! Just say “No problem, just thought I’d ask.” Then move on with confidence. Don’t take it personally or get upset. She probably just wants to stay friends for now. And that’s ok! By reacting maturely, you show her that you respect yourself and her.
You’ve got a good head on your shoulders and know how to handle things with grace. No big deal. There will be other chances with her or someone else. Good luck next time!
Handle Rejection Gracefully if She Says No
Say something like “No problem, it was worth a try”
If she says no when you ask her out, don’t get upset or angry. Take it gracefully and say something like “No problem! I just thought it could be fun to go to the movies together. But no worries, it was worth a try.” This shows maturity and that you respect her decision.
Remaining positive demonstrates confidence and grace under disappointment.
Don’t get angry or beg her to change her mind
Never guilt trip a girl or get visibly angry if she says no. That will only confirm to her that she made the right choice turning you down. Similarly, begging “please please please go out with me” comes across as desperate and pushes her away further. Accept the rejection with dignity.
You can still be friends if you want
Just because she said no to a date doesn’t mean you can’t still be friends. Tell her “I still think you’re really cool, hopefully we can hang out sometime as friends.” If you act normally around her, that takes the pressure off the situation.
Who knows, perhaps after seeing your maturity, she may even change her mind down the road. But don’t count on it.
Move on and consider asking someone else out
It stings being rejected, but don’t obsess over one girl. The healthiest thing is to move on and consider asking another girl out who may actually say yes. There are many amazing people you could date, so don’t waste time pining over someone unattainable.
With an abundance mindset, you realize there are always more options to find a relationship if you put yourself out there.
Asking someone out can definitely be intimidating, but following these tips will make it much easier. The key things to remember are: build up your confidence ahead of time, get to know her first as a friend, choose the timing carefully, ask politely and directly, and don’t take it personally if she says no.
Just be yourself, take a chance, and see what happens. Even if she says no, you’ll gain valuable experience for next time. With the right preparation and attitude, you’ll be ready to ask that special girl out in middle school.